It has been a very worn and weary crashy blundering through these last few weeks. Many a time I have found myself overwhelmed, confused and honestly quite scared. Confronting things that one has avoided for years can be so exhausting on its own ~ coupled with every day life and the problems that arise alongside all of this is leaving me trembling on the edge. I act fine around friends and in social situations and they mostly make me forget about my problems, but I am finding it hard to keep things together when I am alone.
I don't know what is wrong with me. I wish parts of me did not exist, but I dont know if they do or if there is any way of separation.
What even am I?
I am so inconsistent within myself I cannot distinguish what is essentially "me" and what isn't, the fluctuations of my emotions are so strong, yet I don't know where they come from or if they are even real as they are so transient. I try to appear consistent within social situations but each version of me is so markedly different I dont even
The walls of knowing what is and what isnt is beginning to crumble away, leaving an oceanic expanse of ambiguity lapping at my mind, and I do not know where it will wash me away to.
.
